Day 4- More Tears

July 2, 2015

I wake up today to more tears. A good cry every morning before getting out of bed is the new normal. My friends and family are rallying around me in unbelievable ways. Food has been brought to the house. Everyone asks what she can do. Gestures are made. Offers to do anything and everything I need. The support couldn’t be better, but no one can crawl into the abyss with…

Another day. I wake up to a glimmer of hope it’s a nightmare. It was just a glimmer of hope today less than yesterday, then it’s gone. Another 1,000 tears I had no idea there were so many ways to cry. Racking sobs of absolute devastation Weeping from deep sadness Tears of anger Tears of frustration Screams of anguish Tears of opportunities lost Tears of remorse Fits of rage Spasms…

I forgot to include this on day one. We get home from the hospital after having been given the shock of our lives. My parents and brother have driven in from two hours away and are helping us cope. There is a voicemail on the phone. I check it. It’s LifeChoice with a “time sensitive” message. Anything is better than thinking about what we’ve just been told and it is…

I wake often.  Maybe I’m awake more than I’m asleep. The first thought is always “Did it really happen?  Is she really gone?” I mean Shayna was healthy and athletic and 15. She went to bed Tuesday night and didn’t wake up yesterday morning. Then open my eyes and realize it wasn’t a dream. Next comes the random crushing thought.  “She’s all alone.”  “The coroner has desecrated her body.  “I’ll never tell…

Day 1- She’s Gone

July 1, 2015

Yesterday morning I was sitting at my desk, doing my normal Facebook thing. I had just been out for a 4.5 mile walk. My wife had been working out and had gone to the basement to begin her day’s work. Shayna was supposed to come down and help her, but Shayna had overslept. Ty texted her and Shayna did not respond. When Ty went to wake her she didn’t respond.…